Walk in the bully’s shoes
In my last article Five Ways to be more Resilient I described how to use an NLP technique called Re-Framing to observe situations from a different angle to give a different perspective and help things look better. By looking at the situation from the bully’s perspective then you may have a better understanding of what is going on for him/her and how you can deal with the bully more effectively. Here are some assumptions that you may come up with after walking in the bully’s shoes.
- They are not confident in their role so have to hide that lack of confidence by appearing even stronger than they are.
- They are being bullied by their boss so they are acting as they are acted upon.
- They are doing the best they can with the resources they have got (ie they don’t have the appropriate Leadership skills for the role they are in and have been “promoted to their level of incompetence”).
- They are so ambitious to achieve success for themselves that they don’t see that taking people with them will allow them to be even more successful.
- They don’t have a mentor or role model in their life to help them with their lack of confidence.
- They are unaware they are a bully.
If you can shift your feelings of fear to feeling sorry for the bully then you will find it easier to deal confidently with them.