Hopefully, this article, as well as previous articles, have emphasised that the way we choose to think has the single biggest impact on attitudes and behaviours. We cultivate a feeling of confidence by the way that we think. To give our thoughts the greatest chance of creating an attitude of confidence we need to change our perception of ourselves, others and situations.
A Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) technique I use with clients to help them enhance their confidence is “Perceptual Positioning.” This technique helps the client look at a situation they need to have confidence in from 3 positions.
- Position 1 – the situation from your perspective
- Position 2 – the situation from the other persons/group perspective
- Position 3 – the situation from an independent observers perspective
You can use this technique after a situation has happened to review your confidence or before a situation has happened as a mental rehearsal. This technique is particularly helpful at negating the fears that can stop us being the confident person we have the potential to be. Let’s use the example of enhancing your confidence in giving a colleague feedback.
- Position 1 – What will you be saying, hearing and feeling when you have all the confidence you need to give your colleague feedback?
- Position 2 – What could your colleague be saying, hearing and feeling as you share this feedback?
- Position 3 – As an independent observer who is present at the interaction between you and your colleague, what would they see, hear and feel as you confidently share this feedback.
You can do this technique in your head or spend time actually moving around 3 different seats to be clear which position you are in at that time.